Nicholas Sparks is ruining cinema and literature

Jen B:











Unless you're a man or have lived in a hole for the past few years, you probably already know who Nicholas Sparks is. Some say, he's an amazing author who has penned fifteen novels with six of them being adapted to films. Others say, he's simultaneously destroying literature and cinema with his trite story lines and unimaginative themes. Me? I think he's the fucking Antichrist who should be raped with his own hardcover novels.


Just look at that asshole. With his subtle ginger complexion and out of focus flowers behind him. I hate him so fucking much! But women fucking eat the shit he spews out and can't wait until the next steaming pile comes out. Someone tried to convince me they were awesome books because he portrays romantic love or some gay ass shit.

Not buying it. He plays right into the hormonal emotions of the women who read this shit.

The formula for both his books and movies is simple.


Start with two attractive white people

Then add an obstacle that makes a love between them seem impossible (e.g. 9/11, her parents, socioeconomic status)

Fall in love anyways

Then throw some out-of-left field exploitative twist that only serves to emotionally manipulate and turn a forgettable romance into a full-on tragedy that the Bronte sisters would of gotten all wet over. (e.g. Alzheimer's, cancer, mudslide death, cancer)

And that's what keeps bitches coming back. I had no clue but I guess love stories interspersed with chemotherapy and passion makes for excellent reading material and chick flicks.

Then he goes and bashes Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian calling it "pulpy" and "overwrought", while comparing his books to those of Sophocles, Shakespeare, and Hemingway.
Sophocles?! You smug Christian ginger fuck....

Read for yourself. http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2010-03-11-lastsong11_CV_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

I fucking hate him...

Terzi:






You know...  you can hate him.  That's cool.  But I've got to say that you're missing out on an amazing opportunity: easy, mindless poon.

I'm all for anything that makes it easier to get balls deep up in some ho, and if it means sitting through 2.5 hours of trite crap, and rubbing sand into my eyes to crack a tear at the end, then so be it.  A little eye damage, and a little soul-selling never hurt anyone.

Think about it: this guy could be the Viagra of the new millennium.  Except without all of the 75 yr old men cheating on their wives because they have an erection that hasn't gone away in over four hours (please see your doctor if this problem persists).  He's the Viagra for boring girls/women - girls and women who wouldn't know an orgasm if it splashed them across the face.  They figure if they're going to cry during sex that it might as well be a "good cry", so why not lube it all up with a ginger kid's masturbation?

Shakespeare?  Maybe not.  Pfizer?  Maybe.